Hillary Clinton’s What Happened. A no BS review

Before I begin reading any article about politics (or in this instance, can be made political) I look to the author information. Who are they and what is their bias. Here is me and mine:
I was born and raised in NYC. I am 50 years old. My bio is here.
I am a Democrat. I have given, hosted, bundled, been on finance committees.
I worked on Wall Street for a decade. I started a company and it was acquired. I am a salesman by nature the same way other people might be a social worker or CEO.  I also invested in some stuff that worked out good
Books conceived and executed to be best sellers are written fast, sold cheap, dumped fast. It is the perfect commodity for growth capitalism. Growth of capital depends on rapid turnover, it not only isn’t geared to allow for durability, but actually discourages it. This fits well with a good deal of reader desire and expectation, since to many readers much of the value of a book is that it’s new: everybody’s reading and talking about it.
Once it’s less read and talked about, now it’s just a book.
What is, or will be, What Happened? Is she a contemporary Thucydides and this is the history of her own Peloponnesian war. Will she take out Pericles funeral oration and inject her own commentary on democracy and sacrifice. Perhaps this is Hillary’s discourses on Trump.
But, if it’s not, should I be forgiving… because it is HER?
Hillary Clinton’s What Happened. A no BS review
Below this review I have pictured and pasted some excerpts from What Happened Should anyone put me on trial for racism, misogyny, or whatever other ‘isms and ‘phobes are in the charges, these are the exhibits in my defense.
This is Hillary Clinton writing her own fanfic. It is Hillary being her own special investigator and exonerating herself. It is revisionist, it’s like reading the transcripts of a CNN ‘we hate trump’ panel discussion, but it’s Hillary in every seat. She demands the same absolution of her horrible campaign and political entitlements that she didn’t offer a young female voter in her own retelling of an incident (in the exhibits)
Worst of all is that is that it is written to appeal to the fashionable sensibilities of the Hillary mob. The Amazon book catalog is almost limitless, there is no shortage of books but a shortage of people who can read them. To solve the book sellers dilemma, Hillary wrote a book that anybody can read.
I cannot give Hillary a pass, it is a poorly written confessional of other people’s sins.  Her book is just an angry tweet storm, the distinctions between words are lost, the grammar degenerated. Nothing in 500 pages is new or even politically insightful, nothing is authentic. Pundits may disagree, I’m sure they can find something to pass off as brilliance, ‘out of the mouths of babes’
Just a few exhibits in my defense, the book is 500 pages, there are plenty more…
It’s saturday night Mrs C. There’s nothing between you and me but a few hundred pages. Why don’t you take off those big pearl earrings and the blue pant suit. Baby, you can leave the pearl necklace on!

Oh you devilish jukebox philosopher. #NeverStopPandering Oh dear, Nietzsche never said ‘us’, he said what doesn’t kill “you”. There is no ‘us’ in “you”.  “What Nietzsche should have said is, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.” – Conan O’Brien

I am skeptical that Harriet Tubman’s motto was ‘keep going’. But to Hillary everything is an advertising tagline

…and her book begins. Hillary writes exactly like every shitty monetized first-person blog post her diehards churn out. It’s made to the Amazon, bestseller specifications.

Translating for the idiot impaired… “Watch your back bitch”

Hillary dealt with her loss by retreating from globe-crushing megalomania into the simple joys of being an obnoxious millionaire.

As a personal note, I once was stopped on the street by a menacing young adult. “Yo, you got a dollar” I said “No” although i had many. “If I check your pockets and find a dollar can I punch you in the face?” I said NO…and he walked away. Hillary, if you want my money you got to check my pockets.

Cos, you know before that Hillary was unsure of herself, nervous, afraid. But then this kid snuck up to her ear and whispered life changing wisdom, then the secret service wrestled her to the ground. “Dare to compete” was also a motto of Harriet Tubman

Remember when Donald Trump eat from a burrito bowl? I did that first.

When my staff disagreed with me about the original goldfish being better, I scolded them severely and then I did some more nostril breathing.

If you had read my policies on my website about ObamaCare, you would see that it is nothing but preserving the status quo with vague promises of making it “work” better and contains nothing more than the content of the initial statement.

I had this dream the night before that I was in California, its nighttime and I’ve just been proclaimed the possessor of the people’s adorations. I’m on a balcony and the people are awestruck. “Hillllllaaaarrrry” and then I sing the soundtrack of Evita from start to finish

Oh, Tom Friedman read all those Wikileaks emails and became more convinced that she is the president that America needs…

Maybe your esteemed Tom Friedman missed this Wikileaks gem that shows your team colluded with the media to promote Trump as they thought he was a week candidate you could beat. #BoyWereTheyWrong
And I guess Friedman also missed all those emails calling Hillary’s instincts terrible, getting the answer to a debate question in advance or the concerns, from Doug Band to Chelsea Clinton of the appearance, if not actual, corruption of the Clinton Foundation.

Always call bullshit whenever a politician talks about patriotism, legacies, history and compassion. Politics is about non of the above. Much horrific crimes against humanity are hidden in the fog of the “kindness and love.”

Four hours later, I’m done…

ht/Ursula K. Leguin

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