The Single Woman’s Cry

I’m the last woman standing, figuratively and in a weird way literally speaking. The smell of orange blossoms is in the air, and the bells are a ringing! Today is the day my last high school classmate gets leg shackled, leaving me the old-maid, the one to receive all the revelers’ pitying looks and don’t-worry pats on the back. We went to an all-girl’s school and had a very close class so I can’t even fade into blessed anonymity.  I’m told over and over not to worry, that there’s someone out there for me if I just hang in there. It’s always the same situation, as soon as someone gets married everyone around them needs to be married or in a serious relationship or else they’re not truly happy.

I feel like jumping onto one of the exquisitely decorated tables and shouting on top of my lungs. That would definitely get everyone’s attention and then maybe they’d listen when I explain that I don’t feel like an old-maid, I haven’t reached desperation,  and I don’t feel the need to run out and marry the next available bachelor! I’m only twenty-five for Pete’s sake! Is it my fault that all of my high school friends followed the current fad and got married so early?

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage at all. I wish my friends only happiness and the best but I don’t want to get married in an all fired hurry. Yes I want a family and children, but I don’t want to rush anything, it’s a scary world out there, at least for the holy state of matrimony. I’m content to shop around, sow a few wild oats, and be cautious. I like the idea of establishing myself in a career before taking the plunge and bringing little me’s into the world. Maybe then I’ll be able to afford their college tuition! When I do tie the knot I want it to be a marriage like my parents’ marriage, a forever type of situation.

Sure if my Mr. Perfect came riding up tomorrow I’d snatch him up and marry him in the blink of an eye, before anyone else could get there grubby paws on him; but Lancelot lived many, many years ago and they just don’t make them like they used to! The common reaction from the happily married to the above is that ‘you’re being unrealistic; there is no such thing as the perfect man’. I know that, I’m not waiting for my favorite romance novel hero to move in next door and I don’t expect Brad Pitt to  suddenly fall in love with me now that he’s back on the market, nothings changed since the last time he was available!  I’m an adult and I know how to separate fantasy from reality!

But even though I know the only Mr. Perfect in the world is a delicious chocolate bar I do know that there is a Mr. Just Right for Me. Someone I will come to love despite all his flaws and asinine male behavior, and God willing he’ll return the favor. Someday the powers that be will smile down on my life and send me my other half,  a man that will love me when I stop going to the gym, and that I’ll still adore when he becomes a perfect candidate for ‘Bald is Beautiful’. Sure I only listed the superficial problems couples face but you know what I mean.

So as I stand there being patted on the back yet again and another jolly guest reminds me of my ever-ticking biological clock I take a deep breath and remind myself of the above again. I know that even though it’s hard sometimes, and some years I feel like staying indoors for Valentines Day, I’m doing the right thing. I’m not going to rush the most important decision of my life; I’m not going to make a mockery of one of the most beautiful things in the world, true love.

Sure I’ll have many failures, and occasionally feel like becoming a nun, but I will persevere and pick my blind dates with caution. It’s hard for all of us, sometimes it feels like we’ll never get there, but I firmly believe that if you try you succeed.  You’ll get your dates, and while you shouldn’t be overly critical or unrealistic, you will find someone out there that has flaws you won’t mind so much and who can always make you smile when you’re down.

So stand tall and repeat after me ‘I will not be an ambiguous observer, but a participant in my life. I will pursue my goals, be confident with myself and my abilities. I am beautiful and special and deserve only the best.’ Yeah it sounds a little corny, but all you need is to believe it, believe in yourself you’re ready to go out and conquer it all.


By Sara Korf

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