“Are You Guys, Syria’s (serious)?”

If any country’s got it coming in the next year or two it’s Syria. Now let’s forget that they’ve made our little campaign in Iraq a lot harder then it’s had to be by letting insurgents float in and out of their sweat box of a country. We can even push their part in the assassination of Lebanon’s prime minister to the side, if you’d like. But this week, they were responsible for an explosion outside of a nightclub in Tel Aviv that killed four and seriously jeopardized any peace plans between Israel and Palestine. So where does it end?  When do we stand up to that balloon shape headed whack a do and his nation of terrorists? When do we liberate Syria’s people from a madman and give them the same freedom the Iraqis were able to feel when they came out in droves to vote, defying every doubter who argued they didn’t care about their freedom?

I know… I know I’m a neoconish nation building, evil fascist right? But, you know what? The guy I voted for won and your guy lost, chew on that you liberal losers.

You know what else? The same people who are going to write me and say that Israel has no proof that Syria was involved in the blast are the same ones who think Massad was responsible for September 11th. They’re anti-Semitic and they’re everywhere, but to them it’s not being prejudiced it’s seeing things from all angles. Well, you know what I see things from all angles to and after years and years of terrorism, bombings and violent dictatorships, the only way to bring peace to the Middle Eastern region is to democratize it. Ask Japan how our intervention worked out for them when they were imperialists. Is it possible that Japan is better off now? You wouldn’t have thought that six weeks are the bombing of Hiroshima though, would you have? Maybe, just maybe you peaceful, organic eating, socialists don’t have the crystal balls you think you do? Is that possible?

I’m glad that Thomas “I’m an expert on the Middle East” Friedman was so positive about Bush’s undertakings in that region on Meet The Press, Sunday. However, when you have two writers from the New York Times praising this administration’s undertakings, you know there’s going to be one that has to spill lemon juice on everything. Behold, Maureen Dowd as defiant as dashing, still cooing about the President lying to the American people, still unwilling to admit that maybe things are turning in a positive light and still as bitchy and unmarried as ever. Thomas Friedman spent years in the Middle East studying their political climate, William Safire (who was also on the panel) was Richard Nixon’s favorite speech writer and what is Dowd’s claim to fame before The Slimes picked her up? Reporting about the sports (if you can call them that) squash and table tennis for The Washington Compost. Go fucking figure!

Saddam Hussein standing trial in a Hannibal Lecter type cage, is something I really want to see. Maybe that’ll give him some time to think about the babies he gassed and women’s tounges he cut out. Human right, nutcases, I don’t want to hear anything from you on this one. Go hike and eat dates or something, okay?

Vladimir Putin didn’t look to happy with W this week but can he blame him? Slowly but surely the Ruskies are up to their old tricks and they just expect us to sit by and look the other way because our focus is now directed towards Islamic Fundamentalism. However, with red China as bold as ever, North Korea continuing to thumb their noses as civilization and Russia quietly rebuilding, maybe this communism thing isn’t as dead as some of would like to believe. As far as Reagan buried it, eight years of Uncle Bill certainly didn’t affirm that the coffin was nailed shut and if we don’t nip it in the bud now the next fifty years could be like those Nightmare On Elm Street movies, starring communism as Freddy. Just a thought and something to watch out for.

This week, former Secretary of State, Colin Powell declared that Donald Rumsfeld reference to an “old and new Europe” was an unfortunate characterization. Everyone knows that there was a huge difference of opinion between the Pentagon and the State Department that probably has begun to heal now that Ms. Rice is running the show. Powell is right about that being an unfortunate characterization if it was up to me I’d refer to that shameful block of the world that stupid Manhattan fashionistas like to emulate as “old worthless Europe” and “new socialist, more worthless, Europe”. Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong.

You know they guy who hacked into Paris Hilton’s sidekick and Fred Durst’s phone? They shouldn’t jail this guy or execute him. Hell, he shouldn’t even be fined, what we should do is make this guy work for the CIA, harness his powers for good and put him on Bin Laden’s smelly ass.

I’ve got to say it one more time. The Passion of Christ made more money then the five films nominated for best picture put together. However, it didn’t score one major nomination. Do you know why? It’s because all the studio executives that said Mel Gibson would go bankrupt don’t want to look wrong. It’s because a few critics saw a film that was strictly the interpretation of the gospel as being anti-Semitic and I’ll say it right here, it’s because a movie about Jesus Christ could never gain accolade in a socialist, atheist, left wing lunatic city like Hollywood.  The same people that didn’t vote for this movie are the same ACLU loving, child pornographers, that become elated when Holiday decorations have to be taken down. They are the enemies of the founding fathers of this country and enemies to the preservation of the constitution that they framed. That’s not my opinion, that’s a fact.

With that said, I’m glad Jamie Foxx won, and I’m glad Million Dollar Baby mopped up awards the way it should have, even though it was the most depressing move I’ve ever seen. I’m sure these awards will rejuvenate box office attendance for the aforementioned films but don’t sell yourself short and please make sure you go watch Sideways.

I’ll tell you this much, after the barrage of trades that came down at the NBA deadline, the Sixers have to got to be the favorite to win the Eastern Conference. Not only did they acquire Chris Webber but Jamal Mashburn as well and he if ever gets healthy, the Sixers are going to be a formidable team (that is if Iverson allows them to be.) My Knicks did nothing other then add mediocre ball players, bad draft picks and more salary. After initially predicting they would have the second best record in the East I now have to admit I’ve become a doubting Thomas, Isaiah Thomas that is.

Well, I think I can safely say that if I ever do something I’m ashamed of, Jose Canseco will not the be that man that I will confide in.

I still couldn’t care less about those God damn gates in Central Park.

Finally, in London on Saturday night, passengers of the South Eastern Train System had to flee and duck in terror as members of a violent street gang ran through the cars smashing over one hundred windows with lead pipes. Train service has been interrupted and the cars have all needed to be sent out for repair, making rush hours chaotic. Now, I ask you, is that also art?

Friends let freedom ring, the nation builders chisel and construct away, God Bless you and your families and God Bless the USA.


By Maximilian Heusler

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