LAJ ARTICLES

Talent means nothing to idiots

    It’s become obvious that talent, for the most part, is found nowhere in the music business. Turn on your TV or radio and you will hear very quickly that the most successful, rich, and popular “musicians” are completely talentless. I think record execs have been testing the waters, so to speak, by releasing music and bands that were more and more untalented with every new project. The decision to do so might have gone something like this.

Jim: Wow. We make so much money

Dick: Dude, I know. Can you believe how rich we are?

Jim: It’s amazing what we can release and legally call music.

Dick: Did you expect so many people to buy the new 50 cent CD?

Jim: For like, $18.00 even!

Dick: Yeah really!

Jim: Honestly, I didn’t think people were that stupid.

Dick: Well, they did all buy into the whole nu-metal craze, and remember the backstreet boys?

Jim: Yeah, I guess the population is dumber than we thought.

Dick: I wonder exactly how stupid they are…

Jim: That’s a good question. Do you know how easy our jobs would be…

Dick: (Chuckling) You mean, how MUCH EASIER, don’t you Jim?

Jim: (Laughing) Oh yeah. Anyway, there’s a chance that the public is so stupid, they’d buy CDs with no real music on them!

Dick: How are we supposed to know just how dumb the public is though?

Jim: I have an idea! We’ll just start releasing CDs from bands that get progressively worse. When people stop buying the cd’s we’ll know just how dumb people are!

Dick: That’s brilliant! How’d you ever come up with it?

Jim: When you think about it, that’s pretty much what we’ve been doing for years. Now we’re doing it for science.

Dick: Good point.

    We can only speculate as to what really happened on that fateful day, but we know something like that did occur. Just when I thought I had heard the worst the world had to offer, something happened, that was so stupid, so unbelievably ridiculous, it proved to me that the public had completely lost their collective mind.

    William Hung burst onto the scene – not so much burst, more like danced onto the scene with no coordination while “singing” off-key through a thick Chinese accent; and everyone went crazy for him. I have a question for the general public. What the fuck are you assholes thinking? The guy is completely talentless, yet he has thousands of fans. How stupid does someone have to be to consider herself/himself a William Hung fan? I think whatever record company is responsible (Koch I believe) for giving Hung a record deal really thought no one would fall for it.

    The guy is releasing an album and I bet it will sell thousands of copies in like, three seconds. People are stupid as hell, this is just more proof. When I first saw William Hung on my TV, I had no idea where he came from. I soon learned his origins. I should have known something as ridiculous as William Hung was caused by American Idol.

    This guy actually thinks he’s a professional singer. He thinks he has talent too. I can’t believe it. What is it about him you idiots like? Do you just feel sorry for him or something? Someone said people like him because he’s being himself. Listen, if people were popular and well-liked because they were happy just being themselves, no one would get beaten up in high school.

    I wonder if William Hung will get a full 15 minutes of fame, or if it will be over when everyone buys his record, listens to it, and realizes just how stupid they’d been. I think he’s going to be really shocked when he becomes the biggest joke the music industry has ever seen. It almost makes you feel pity for him…but then you think about the thousands of dollars he’s making for basically dancing around like an idiot, and you realize you want to see his reign of talentless delusion come to a humiliating end. You just know all the stupid teen magazines are going to run headlines like “Hung out to dry” when the trend is over. There’s probably a slew of shitty writers out there who already wrote that headline.

    You know, I don’t really have anything against the guy as a person. From what I’ve seen, which is very little, he seems like a decent human being with some actual morals. It’s not his fault the general public is incredibly stupid. Take ‘em for all they’re worth you silly little Asian!

By: Paul Galicki

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