LAJ ARTICLES

Venture Capital and LPs touching the elephant. Bonus review – Waiting for Guffman

mark wayne chess adam townsend cartoon shrunk 10

Venture Capital has its own Rashomon effect.
One of the narratives that should be told is that of the LP.
I am an LP in several tier 1 firms and the courtship (although one was legacy) was a lot of algebra, geometry and dinners.
Everything comes down to an internal dialog with the prefrontal parts of the brain:
Either this market is an aberration and something magical and rationale will snap its band. Or…
what preceded it was the aberration and this is the norm.
(all quotes are from the movie waiting for Guffman)
Dr. Pearl: People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn’t. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him
If this were a book, these would be the names of its chapters:
Venture Capital deals, priced to perfection
Many hands in the pot. The winner takes little
VC’s bidding amongst themselves
Tier 2 firm + and incubator = tier 1 firm
Family office syndicates collaborate and align with VC firms as a tombstone printer and to manage a big LLC pool. (editors note – long chapter title)
Mispricing 500mil + and you are opening a can of whoop ass.
Company Z******* + DS = $700m = Really (editors note – please don’t infer a company name or a management principal)
A drop from this height is a pain that will linger
Pre IPO companies are enduring endless rounds of financing
Bigger companies don’t always need more money. Sometimes they just need a hug
One day the pennies will be taken out of the fountain
VC Flight to quality and Manhattan Real Estate
Venture Capital success stories. Everyone’s got one. And the ones that don’t can say they do anyway (editors note – too snarky)
Ron Albertson: Some people find it ironical that although we run a travel agency, we’ve never been outside of Blaine.
And this epilog
UFO Expert: I’ve been coming to this circle for about five years, and measuring it. The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same. Which brings me to the number 5. There are five letters in the word Blaine. Now, if you mix up the letters in the word Blaine, mix ’em around, eventually, you’ll come up with Nebali. Nebali. The name of a planet in a galaxy way, way, way… way far away. And another thing. Once you go into that circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain.
I am raving bullish, have been for 20+ years. I come out of Wall Street and the nook and crannies of that place are my alma mater.
You learn a few lessons there and nothing is acquired cheaply.
Corky St. Clair: I got off that boat with nothing but my dancers belt and a tube of CHAPSTICK!
Everyone is a genius in a bull market
Be very cautious when an analyst starts pounding the table sounding like a broker
Leave some crumbs on the table for the next guy
Most can’t emotionally handle a sustained bear market, they won’t answer the phone, they disappear like a skate key
Somewhere there is a kindly ‘secret gazillionaire’ paying out big on every ticket. That worries me.
Dr. Pearl: I’m walking on air… you know… this is a sensation which is… forget it. When I became a dentist, I thought I was happy, but this…
Oh yeah, I almost forgot…
A review of Waiting For Guffman

If you see it and and you don’t love it, if you don’t cry from laughter – you are an idiot not a true fan of the the best of comedy movies.
Corky St. Clair: My first show was Barefoot in the Park, which was an absolute smash, but my production on the stage of Backdraft was what really got them excited. This whole idea of ‘In Your Face’ theatre really affected them. The conceptualization, the whole abstraction, the obtuseness of this production to me was what was interesting. I wanted the audience to feel the heat from the fire, the fear, because people don’t like fire, poked, poked in their noses, you know when you get a cinder from a barbeque right on the end of your nose and you kind of make that face, you know, that’s not a good thing, and I wanted them to have the sense memory of that. So during the show I had someone burn newspapers and send it through the vents in the theatre. And well, they freaked out, and ‘course the fire Marshall came over and they shut us down for a couple of days.

Leave a Reply