LAJ ARTICLES

Who’s the best? Justin Bieber or David Bowie. I can’t decide

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Justin Bieber or David Bowie. Are you high again?
I had to click bait you with this post because I know you, when you get all ‘pirn’ed up‘ you search Google and stuff for the stupidest things.
It was the only way to get to tell you this, ‘cos when you’re home, or when we are out and you’re pirn’ed, its like you don’t even notice me. You’re just too busy in your doped up head.
I love you but you’re hurtling me too much and I can’t take it anymore.
It used to be okay, you would take an aspirin and get all goofy and we would laugh.
Then you started taking more, like three at a time and you would try and get me to take some with you. But I said no.
You said it made your “head feel right”. You said if you didn’t take it you’re brain would hurt.
So you found some new friends and you’d go to these crazy aspirin popping parties with them. You wouldn’t come home for hours, and then you would just show up on my doorstep, stinking of Advil and Bayer.
You change into another person when you take aspirin and it scares me. So I am leaving you
Goodbye

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